From Rev. Charles Spurgeon (1834-1892)

Evening by Evening Daily Devotional July 11th

In this simple way, by God’s grace, a living testimony for truth is always to be kept alive in the land – the beloved Gospel and the covenant to their heirs; these, in turn, are to hand it down to their descendants. This is our first duty. We are to begin with the family. He who does not begin his ministry at home is a bad preacher. The unsaved are to be sought by all means, and the “highways and hedges” (Luke 14:23) are to be searched, but home has a prior claim. Woe to those who reverse the order of the Lord’s arrangement. Teaching our children’s God’s ways is a personal duty; we cannot delegate it to Sunday school teachers or other friendly helpers. They can assist us, but they cannot deliver us from our sacred obligation; proxies and sponsors are wicked instruments under these conditions. Mothers and fathers must, like Abraham, instruct their households in the fear of God and talk with their offspring concerning the wondrous works of the Most High. Parental teaching is a natural duty. Who are best able to look to a child’s well-being as those who are the authors of his physical being? To neglect the instruction of our offspring is worse than foolish. Family religion is necessary for the family itself, for the nation, and for the church of God. One of the most effective means of preventing unbelief and doctrinal error is the instruction of children in the faith. However, this means is all but being neglected. Parents must realize the importance of this matter. it is a pleasant duty to talk to our sons and daughters about Jesus, and even more so beause it has often proven to be an accepted work. God has saved children through their parents’ prayers and admonitions. May every house into which ‘these words’ come, honor the Lord and receive His smile of approval.

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Judaism & The Rabbinic Tradition on Family

Midrash Rabbah Koheles (Ecclesiastes/Proverbs) Parasha 9:7

Scripture

“Choose Life with the wife you love through all the fleeting days of your life that He has granted you beneath the sun, all of your futile existence; for that is your compensation in life and in your toil that you exert beneath the sun. (9:9)

…Pursuant to its first exposition of our verse as saying that one should acquire a livelihood, the Midrash cites another teaching in this regard:

• It was taught in a Baraisa: The following are the commandments that a father is obligated to perform with his son: – to circumcise him and to redeem him if he is a firstborn; – and also to teach him Torah, to teach him a livelihood (trade), and to take a wife for him.
• And some say: He is also obligated to teach him to swim in a river.

The Midrash provides Scriptural sources for each of these obligations:

“To circumcise him”: – from where is this known? – For it is stated, At the age of eight days every male among you shall be circumcised (Genesis 17:12).

Note 170: Given that an eight-day old child is incapable of circumcising himself, perforce the Torah is placing this obligation upon the father.

“To redeem him if he is firstborn” – from where is this known? – For it is stated, And you shall redeem every human firstborn among your sons (Exodus 13:13)

“To teach him Torah” – from where is this known? For it is stated, You shall teach them to your children (Deuteronomy 11:19).

• “To teach him a livelihood” from where is this known? – For it is stated, And you shall choose life, so that you will live, you and your offspring (Deuteronomy 11:19).

Note 172: And the expression “life” refers to a livelihood. Thus, by concluding, so that you live, you and your offspring, the verse is teaching us that one must ensure that (not only he but even) his offspring will have a livelihood. In addition, the presumption is that having a viable livelihood reduces the chances one or one’s children has to beg or steal to survive, which often involve manifest sins.

• “To take a wife for him” – from where is this known? – For it is stated, Take wives and beget sons and daughters; take wives for your sons (Jeremiah 29:6)
• “To enable him to swim in a river” – from where is this known? – For it is stated, And you shall choose life, so that you will live, you and your offspring.

Note 173: The expression “life” can allude to one’s ability to swim, for one’s life may at times become contingent on this skill, e.g., if he falls into a river.

The Midrash cites a teaching in connection with the plain meaning of our verse, according to which the wife you love refers to one’s actual wife: 174

• And whoever does not have a wife lives without goodness, without help, without happiness, without blessing, and without atonement.
• -Without goodness”

Notes 175: Referring to the possession of all those things considered “good” in this world; e.g. health, children, and matters that are spiritually beneficial

• “Without goodness”. – from where is this known? – For it is stated, It is not “good” that man be alone (Genesis 2:18)

Note 176: The Midrash interprets this verse to mean that when he is alone (i.e. without a wife), he has no goodness.

• “Without help” – from where is this known? – For it is stated subsequently, I will make him a helper corresponding to him (Genesis 2:18)

Note 177: A wife assists her husband by improving his work and putting it to practical use; e.g. a man brings home wheat and his wife grinds it; a man brings home flax and his wife makes it into linen from which she fashions garments. (Yevamos 63a)

“Without happiness” – from where is this known? – For it is stated And you shall rejoice, you and your household (Deuteronomy 14:26).

Note 178-179: As R’ Akiva said, “The joy of one’s heart is a wife”. This is primarily because he can unburden his heart by sharing all his secrets with her. By contrast, when he is single, all his private concerns and worries fester in his heart and he is constantly perturbed. In these verses, the Midrash interprets (“household” or “home” to mean one’s wife, for Scripture often uses home/household as a euphemism for one’s wife, as she is the mainstay of his household. This verse thus implies that only with a wife at his side can one truly rejoice.

• “Without blessing” – from where is this known? – For it is it is stated, To bring a blessing to rest upon your household (Ezekiel 44:30)

Note 180. This blessing refers to an increase of one’s material assets. Marrying a woman can make one’s home blessed, as stated in Sotah 17a, “If a husband-and-wife merit, the Divine Presence is present with them” (which in turn brings material blessings). This is also true in a practical sense, as she tends to needs of his home he may not recognize.

• For it is it is stated, To bring a blessing to rest upon your household (Ezekiel 44:30)

Note 181: From which we see that blessing can be attained only through one’s “household” (i.e. his wife; see note 178)

• “Without atonement”

Note 182: When a man gets married, the knowledge that his wife makes him a complete person, together with his commitments to her, cause him to reject the desires of his untethered youth and repent. However, this does not mean that an unmarried man cannot repent and achieve atonement; it means only that he lacks one of the primary avenues of repentance and atonement.

• (without atonement) – from where is this known? – For it is stated, And he shall provide atonement for himself and for his household (Leviticus 16:6)

Note 183: The Sages infer from this verse that the Kohen Gadol (High Priest) cannot effect atonement unless he has a wife. Thus, since the absence of a wife prevents the Kohen Gadol’s atonement on Yom Kippur, it follows that the same is true for all men who have no wives.

R’ Yehoshua ben Levi says: An unmarried man is also without life.

Note 184: Married men tend to live longer than unmarried men.

• As it states in our verse, “Choose life with the wife you love”; – and with-out peace, as it is stated, Peace be upon you, peace be upon your household.
• R’ Chiya bar Gamda says: An unmarried man is also not a complete person, – as it is stated, He created them male and female, and He blessed them and called their name Man (Genesis 5:2), – which indicates that only when the two of them are together are they called “man,”
• But when the two of them are not together they are not called “Man.”
• And some say that a man who remains unmarried also reduces the likeness of God’s image in the world,
• As it is stated, For in the image of God He made man

Note 185: And the next verse states, And you, be fruitful and multiply. Since human beings are made in God’s image, one who remains unmarried, and as a result, does not beget children, decreases the likeness of God’s image.

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Hadith from the Islamic Tradition on Family

She reported Allah’s Messenger as saying, “The best of you is he who is best to his family, and I am the best among you to my family. On the authority of Ibn Abbas

Anas reported God’s Messenger as saying, “When a man marries he has fulfilled half of the religion; so let him fear God regarding the remaining half.” Baihaqi

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